Welcome to the Truth@Life Blog Site by Curtis Songer


If you receive value from these blogs, please consider donating to keep this blog site up and running. This ministry cannot continue without the generous donations of its readers. Just click on the "Donate" button to the right.

This blog site is loaded with tools to help you find what you're looking for. Here's how it works...

There are 5 threads of thought in this blog site:
1. Church Stuff - things pertaining to the evangelical Christian Church of today
2. Leadership Corner - concepts on management & leadership
3. Two Becoming One - principles of marriage enrichment
4. Train Up a Child - principles of parenting
5. Personal Thoughts - my mental ramblings on how God is growing me

I highly recommend you find an entry on one of these topics that interests you and click on that label at the end of that entry. It will bring up all the entries on that particular category. And be sure to check out the great web site links in the lower right corner of this page - Enjoy!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Leadership Habits

Here's a little test to understand the power of our habits. Cross your arms as you normally would, and look down to see which one is on top. When I speak and do this exercise with audiences, invariably about half of the audience members will have their right arm on top (I do) and the other half will have their left on top. When you crossed your arms for the very first time, you might have been still in your playpen, and you've been crossing your arms the same way ever since. Now, cross your arms again, but this time put the wrong arm on top. It feels extremely weird! If I were to challenge you to cross your arms the "wrong" way for the rest of your life, could you do it? Probably. Would it be difficult? You bet it would! Here's the point: Habits—good or bad—are difficult to break. Aristotle said it best: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act...it's a habit." Do you have "leadership habits" that need to change for you to become more effective in your personal or professional life? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a free consultation. If you receive value from these blogs, please consider donating to keep this blog site up and running. This ministry cannot continue without the generous donations of its readers. Just click on the "Donate" button in the upper right. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/ or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com

Monday, March 11, 2013

Character & Courage – Two Sides of the Same Coin (part 2 of 2)

In my prior blog, I proposed that leaders cannot rise above the limitations of their character. How a leader deals with the circumstances of life tells you many things about his character. Crisis doesn’t always mold character, but is certainly does reveal it. And adversity is a crossroads that makes a person choose one of two paths: character or compromise. So it takes real courage to have character. Where does this courage come from? Courage begins with an inner battle. Every test you face as a leader begins within you. The test of courage is not different. All significant battles are waged within one’s self. Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It is having the power to let go of the familiar and forge ahead into new territory. Courage is fear that has said its prayers. Courage is doing what you’re afraid to do. Civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. declared, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy.” Great leaders take a stand when needed. Courage is making things right, not just smoothing them over. Courage deals with principle, not perception. If you don’t have the ability to see when to stand up and the conviction to do it, you’ll never be an effective leader. Your dedication to principle must remain stronger than your desire to appease others. On the other hand, fear limits a leader. The desire for safety is a barrier against every great and noble endeavor. Those who don’t have the courage to take risks to do the right thing, tend to worry about trivial things and never accomplish much. But those with the courage to overcome their fears live lives full of meaning and purpose. British theologian John Henry Newman said, “Fear not that your life will come to an end, but that it will never have a beginning.” Courage is motivational. A show of courage by any person encourages others. But a show of courage by a leader inspires others. It makes people want to follow him. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are stiffened. Courage is contagious. Leadership is the expression of courage that compels people to do the right thing. It is one way a leader inspires commitment from followers. Eleanor Roosevelt once acknowledged, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Leadership requires character. And whether in public or in private, character requires the courage to do that which we know to be right, regardless of the consequences. Ask yourself these questions: Does my walk match my talk? What issue have I made right today, rather than smoothing it over? Am I putting off an action or decision because I fear the consequences, even though I know it is the right thing to do?  If you or someone in your organization could use assistance in developoing their leadership skills, call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a free consultation. If you receive value from these blogs, please consider donating to keep this blog site up and running. This ministry cannot continue without the generous donations of its readers. Just click on the "Donate" button in the upper right. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/ or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Leadership Qualities: Character & Courage – Two Sides of the Same Coin (part 1 of 2)

Leaders cannot rise above the limitations of their character. And yet, while a leadership position doesn’t give a person character, character can give him a leadership position. How a leader deals with the circumstances of life tells you many things about his character. Crisis doesn’t necessarily mold character, but is certainly does reveal it. Adversity is a crossroads that makes a person choose one of two paths: character or compromise. It takes real courage to have character. Every time a leader chooses character, he becomes stronger, even if that choice brings negative consequences. The development of character is at the heart of our development as leaders. Character is the foundation on which a leader builds his or her life. It all begins with character, because leadership operates on the basis of trust. People will follow a leader only so far as they trust him or her. Every leader must know the following about character: 1. Character is More Walk Than Talk – Anyone can say he has integrity, but action is the real indicator of character. Your character determines who you are. Who you are determines how you see and think about things. How you see things determines what you do. That’s why you can never separate a leader’s character from his actions. If a leader’s actions and intentions are continually working against each other, then look to his character to find out why. 2. Character is a Choice – We have no control over a lot of things in life. We don’t get to choose our parents. We don’t select the location or circumstances of our birth and upbringing. We don’t get to pick our natural talents or IQ. But we do choose our character. In fact, we create it every time we make choices – to cop out or dig out of a tough situation, to bend the truth or stand under the weight of it. As you live your life and make your choices, you are continuing to create your character. 3. Character Brings Followers - True leadership involves other people. Followers do not trust leaders whose character they know to be flawed, and they will not continue following them. If you think you’re leading and no one is following, then you’re only taking a walk. As you lead others at home, at work, and in the community, recognize that your character is your most important asset. The respect that leadership must have requires that one’s ethics be without question. A leader not only stays above the line between right and wrong, he also stays well clear of the “gray areas.” 4. Character Requires Courage - It’s easy to see in war heroes, but it’s also present in most great leaders in business, government, and the church. Wherever you see significant progress in an organization, you know that the leader made courageous decisions. It has been said that the most striking thing about effective leaders is how little they have in common. What one swears by, another warns against. But one thing always stands out: the willingness to risk. In my next blog, I will explore the relationship between character and courage – the willingness to risk.  If you or someone in your organization could use assistance in developoing their leadership skills, call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a free consultation. If you receive value from these blogs, please consider donating to keep this blog site up and running. This ministry cannot continue without the generous donations of its readers. Just click on the "Donate" button in the upper right. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/ or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com

Monday, March 4, 2013

What Personal Qualities do Great Leaders Have? (part 2 of 2)

There are many bases for leadership: positional, relational, knowledge/information, performance, etc. But real, lasting leadership tends to be based upon influential relationships. Previously, I listed 5 common misunderstandings about leadership (see http://nccxpastor.blogspot.com/2013/02/who-makes-great-leader.html). If those misunderstandings are examples of what leadership is not, then what personal qualities do make a great leader? I started answering that question in my last blog (http://nccxpastor.blogspot.com/2013/02/what-personal-qualities-do-great.html)... Here now are the final 4 of my “Top 10” personal qualities for a leader: 7. Valuing People. A good leader must have a fundamental value for people. They must care for people, desire to connect with people, be willing to listen to and understand people. This requires the desire and emotional intelligence to develop and maintain deep relationships with people. 8. Developing People. This is a key distinguishing factor between good and great organizations. A great organization, led by great leaders, does more that give ‘lip service’ to the fact that people are their greatest asset. Valuable assets must be developed. A great leader must have the desire and the ability to teach, coach, and mentor their people to higher levels of performance. This includes developing the leadership potential of those he/she leads. 9. Servanthood. A truly great leader is a servant leader. He/she has the well-being of the organization and the people within it as his/her primary concern. Just as Jesus is our greatest example, the servant leader will put the needs of his/her people ahead of his own. All the prior personal qualities will be flavored by this quality. The servant leader knows the condition of his people and the organization well – he/she stays close to them and in touch with them. He/she knows them well – their unique qualities, personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. He/she builds trust with them, communicates values to them, sets reasonable standards for them, develops them, enables them, removes barriers for them, communicates with them, protects them, personally sets the example for them, and course corrects them in a loving way. He/she has the attitude that he/she is there for them, not that they are there for him/her. 10. Legacy. A leader has a desire to leave a lasting legacy. Legacies tend to take one of two forms – either a legacy of change in people or a legacy of change in achievement / material things. Many leaders spend their life amassing great fortunes, often at the expense of people, sometimes even their own families. Some leaders focus on achievement – perhaps growing a large church. But counting ‘nickels and noses’ is no way to measure one’s legacy. This type of legacy is temporal and will not last. A great leader will focus on leaving a lasting legacy, one that impacts many future generations. This is only done through people. It is accomplished by being the type of leader that others want to model themselves after. And it is done by the personal investment of the leader into the lives of those he interacts with - developing the leadership potential of those he/she leads. That’s the list. You may disagree with some of these, but my experience has shown these are among the most critical qualities for effective leadership. It’s true; there are certainly many other qualities that could be added to the list. Feel free to comment on this list and/or add your own qualities. If you check back over the coming weeks, I’ll explore each of these qualities in more detail. If you or someone in your organization could use assistance in developoing their leadership skills, call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a free consultation. If you receive value from these blogs, please consider donating to keep this blog site up and running. This ministry cannot continue without the generous donations of its readers. Just click on the "Donate" button in the upper right. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/ or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com