Worry about Worrying?

I used to worry. A lot. The more I fretted, the more proficient I became at it. Anxiety begets anxiety. I even worried that I worried too much! Ulcers might develop. My health could fail. My finances could deplete to pay the hospital bills. A comedian once said, "I tried to drown my worries with gin, but my worries are equipped with flotation devices." While not a drinker, I certainly could identify! My worries could swim, jump and pole vault! I asked a life coach who listened as I poured out my concerns and then said, "You need to learn to wait to worry." As the words sank in, I asked if he ever spent time fretting. I was quite certain he wouldn't admit it if he did. To my surprise, he confessed that in years gone by he had been a top-notch worrier! "I decided that I would wait to worry!" he explained. "I decided that I'd wait until I actually had a reason to worry - something that was happening, not just something that might happen - before I worried." "When I'm tempted to get alarmed," he confided, "I tell myself, 'You've got to wait to worry! Until you know differently, don't worry.' And I don't. Waiting to worry helps me develop the habit of not worrying and that helps me not be tempted to worry." I now frequently ask people what they were worried about this time last year. It's a great question because most people can't remember. Then I ask if they have a current worry - they always do. Then I remind them that the average worrier is 96% inefficient. Studies show that only 8% of what we worry about ever comes true. And about half of that we could not have avoided anyway. Charles Spurgeon said it best. "Anxiety cannot empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but it does empty today of its strength." Most of us want to be positive. It's advantageous to possess a sunny outlook. Doors open to optimists. They make friends, earn respect, close sales, produce loyal clients, and others enjoy and want to be like them - even to be around them. The question is how can we do that consistently? Do you struggle with anxiety? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Outrageous Faith (part 2 of 5): Digging Ditches

While walking on the water, Jesus said to Peter, “Come to me.” Peter got out of the boat - that took faith. But as soon as he felt the waves, the trials of life, his faith failed. He started to doubt, just like after taking a step of faith we often start to doubt. "So the king of Israel set out with the king of Judah and the king of Edom. After a roundabout march of seven days, the army had no more water for themselves or for the animals with them. “What!” exclaimed the king of Israel. “Has the Lord called us three kings together only to deliver us into the hands of Moab?” But Jehoshaphat asked, “Is there no prophet of the Lord here, through whom we may inquire of the Lord?” An officer of the king of Israel answered, “Elisha son of Shaphat is here. He used to pour water on the hands of Elijah. ” Jehoshaphat said, “The word of the Lord is with him.” So the king of Israel and Jehoshaphat and the king of Edom went down to him. Elisha said to the king of Israel, “Why do you want to involve me? Go to the prophets of your father and the prophets of your mother.” “No,” the king of Israel answered, “because it was the Lord who called us three kings together to deliver us into the hands of Moab.” Elisha said, “As surely as the Lord Almighty lives, whom I serve, if I did not have respect for the presence of Jehoshaphat king of Judah, I would not pay any attention to you. But now bring me a harpist.” While the harpist was playing, the hand of the Lord came on Elisha and he said, “This is what the Lord says: I will fill this valley with pools of water." (2 Kings 3:9-16 NIV) That’s exactly what I do when I am stressed with making a decision, don’t you? Call for a harpist. NOT!!! But there is something about worship music that allows us to hear God speak. There is a direct correlation between worshipping God in song and hearing him speak! While the harpist was playing, the hand of God came upon him and Elisha heard from God. While the harpist was playing, the hand of the Lord came on Elisha and he said, “This is what the Lord says: I will fill this valley with pools of water. For this is what the Lord says: You will see neither wind nor rain, yet this valley will be filled with water, and you, your cattle and your other animals will drink. This is an easy thing in the eyes of the Lord; he will also deliver Moab into your hands. (2 Kings 3:16-18 NIV) There was only one problem, there were no pools. They had to be dug. No sign of water anywhere, and a promise that it would not rain. Yet, God was telling them they had to dig ditches. What He was really saying, "are you still willing to obey Me?" There is no sign of provision for you in your time of difficulty, yet will you obey God and dig the ditches – take action. You see, faith is not a feeling, it is an action. Faith is not a statement – words falling from your mouth, it is an action. There are times when God wants us to participate in His miracle! God says, "Show Me your faith, and I will show you My faithfulness!" Get up, take action, do your part. When it comes to outrageous faith, only God can send the water, but sometimes He requires you to dig the ditches. What ditch is God asking you to dig so that He will send the blessings His blessings to you? When it comes to outrageous faith, stop focusing on your struggle and start focusing on the Savior! Stop focusing on your problem and start focusing on His provision! Walking by faith is first all about your perspective - having God's perspective on your life and this world. Second, once you have God’s perspective on your life, faith is about being willing to surrender to God no matter what He has planned for you. So I ask again, what ditch does God want you to start digging?! Are you having a difficult time taking action? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

It's Time to Plan

Followers need leaders to effectively plan for them. When facing life and death situations, the necessity is painfully obvious. But even when the consequences aren’t as serious, the need is just as great. Leaders who plan well do even more than control the direction in which their people travel. They see the whole trip in their minds before they leave. They have a vision for their destination, they understand what it will take to get there, they know who’ll they’ll need on their team to be successful, and they recognize the obstacles long before they appear on the horizon. A leader is one who sees more than others see, who sees farther than others see, and who sees before others see. The larger the organization, the more clearly the leader has to see far ahead. That’s because sheer size makes midcourse corrections more difficult. And if there are errors, many more people are affected than when you are traveling alone or with only a few people. The Titanic is an excellent example. Before leaders take people on a journey, they must go through a process to give the trip the best chance of being a success: 1. They draw on past experience. 2. They listen to what others have to say (especially those who have traveled the journey before them). 3. They examine the conditions before making commitments. 4. They make sure their conclusions represent both faith and fact. They draw on past experience: Every past success and failure can be a source of information and wisdom – if you allow it to be. Successes teach you about yourself and what you’re capable of doing with your particular gifts and talents. Failures show what kinds of wrong assumptions you’ve made and where your methods are flawed. If you fail to learn from your mistakes, you’re going to fail again and again. That’s why effective leaders start with experience. They listen to what others have to say: No matter how much you learn from the past, it will never tell you all your need to know for the present and the future. That’s why the best leaders gather information from many sources. They get ideas from members of their leadership team. They talk to the people in their organization to find out what’s happening on the grass-roots level. And they spend time with leaders from outside the organization who can mentor and advise them. They examine the conditions before making commitments: Despite their often excellent intuition, before effective leaders make commitments that are going to impact their people, they take stock and thoroughly think things through. They count the cost before making commitments for themselves and others. They make sure their conclusions represent both faith and fact: An effective leader must possess a positive attitude. They’ve got to have faith that they can take their people all the way to the destination. If they can’t confidently make the trip in their own mind, they’re not going to make it in real life. On the other hand, they also have to be able to see the facts realistically. They can’t minimize obstacles or rationalize their challenges. If they don’t go in with eyes wide open, they’re going to get blind-sided. Realistic leaders are objective enough to minimize illusions. They understand that self-deception can cost them their vision. Sometimes it’s difficult balancing optimism and realism, intuition and planning, faith and fact. But that’s what it takes to be an effective leader. The secret to the Principle of Planning is preparation. Preparation conveys confidence and trust to people. The following acrostic may be helpful: PLAN AHEAD. P = Predetermine a course of action. L = Lay out your goals. A = Adjust your priorities. N = Notify (communicate with) key personnel. A = Allow time for acceptance. H = Head into action. E = Expect problems (and plan for contingencies). A = Always point to the future vision (and the successes along the way). D = Daily review your plan. The major barriers to successful planning are fear of change, ignorance, uncertainty about the future, and lack of imagination. The secret to overcoming these barriers is preparation. When leaders prepare well, they convey confidence and trust. Lack of preparation has the opposite effect. Leaders who are good navigators are capable of taking their people just about anywhere. It’s not the size of the project that determines its acceptance, support, and success. It’s the size of the leader. Do you struggle with proper planning? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Hot Coffee in the Crotch Anyone?

Have you ever noticed that two people can confront the same circumstances with very different reactions? This is a matter of attitude and nothing else. Freedom is being able to say, "Rich or poor, alone or with a mate, physically healthy or not, employed or laid off, I believe that peace of mind is possible." We have all experienced what it is like to be having a perfectly fine day and have a situation or crisis arise that sends us into a tailspin. It may be something small like a traffic jam making us late, or something more severe like the loss of a job. Our response can seem automatic. Though at first it may be difficult to accept, freedom depends on recognizing that you're not upset because of what occurred, you are upset because of how you perceive the situation. Key to a good attitude is recognizing that you are not a victim of the world. Another way of saying this is: There is nothing in this world that has the power to ruin your day. If you are upset, it is because you have directed your mind to be so. Initially these truths can be hard to accept because you have become so accustomed to giving your happiness away. Every time you blame another person for your unhappiness you are giving your it away. Stop blaming. How you perceive a situation will determine your experience and your reaction. Let's imagine that you have a favorite coffeehouse that you frequent. The staff knows your name and always has a warm and friendly greeting as you walk through the door. An extremely grumpy woman whom you have never seen before serves you this particular morning. She appears preoccupied rather than caring about you or what she is doing. As she pours your hot coffee a good portion spills in your lap. Despite your jumping in shock, no apology follows. Your experience is anger: both toward the waitress and the owner, Joe, for hiring such an incompetent person. Then, a friend of yours at the next booth says, "Isn't it great that Joe hired her!" "Great! Are you out of your mind? She just spilled hot coffee in my lap and walked away," you reply with your best indignant voice. "Oh, you didn't hear the story?" your friend whispers. "What story?" you angrily reply, still drying off your new slacks, wondering how you will go through the day looking as though you wet your pants. "Yeah, Joe didn't know her from Adam. He read in the paper that her husband had died last month in a car accident. Apparently her husband's health insurance stopped, and she was looking for another job in order to pay for her sixteen-year-old son's chemotherapy for leukemia," your friend responds. Now, you still have hot coffee in your crotch, but are you still angry? Unlikely. The only thing that shifted was your perception and attitude. Through discovering a reason to be compassionate, your entire experience changed - and there are always reasons to be compassionate. An important part of happiness and contentment is developing compassion. Instead of going out in the world and finding plenty of reasons to be upset, go out and discover reasons to extend love. There are thousands of reasons waiting for you right now. A helpful thought to remember is that a miracle is nothing more than allowing an old grievance to become a current compassion. If you ever run short on reasons to be compassionate, remember there is always one good reason: It makes you feel better than anything else you could do. Do you struggle with maintaining the proper perspective and attitude that fosters happiness? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

The End of the Year - A Time to Reflect on Priorities

Leaders never get to a point where they no longer need to prioritize. It’s something that good leaders keep doing whether they’re leading a project, pastoring a church, leading a small business, or heading up a multi-billion dollar corporation. A leader who suddenly realizes that he has been focused on the wrong set of priorities is like the native who climbs the tallest tree, surveys the entire situation, and yells, “Wrong jungle!” There are two principles that can help you measure your activity and determine your priorities. The first one is called the Pareto Principle and the second is the Three Rs. If you focus your attention on the activities that rank in the top 20% in terms of importance, you will likely get an 80% return on your investment. For example, if you have 100 customers, the top 20 will likely provide you with 80% of your business. If your to-do list has 10 items on it, the 2 most important ones will likely give you an 80% return on your time. And if you have 10 employees, you should give 80% of your time and attention to the 2 that have the greatest future potential. If you haven’t already observed this phenomenon, test it, and you’ll see that it really works out. The second principle is the Three Rs. The Three Rs are requirement, return, and reward. To be effective, leaders must order their lives according to three questions: 1. What is Required? We are all accountable to somebody – an employer, a board of directors, our stockholders, or someone else. For that reason, your list of priorities must always begin with what is required of you (your superior’s priorities that you must support). Anything that is not necessary for you to do personally should be delegated of eliminated. 2. What Gives the Greatest Return? As a leader, you should spend most of your time working in your areas of strength. If something can be done 80% as well by someone else in your organization, delegate it. If a responsibility could potentially meet that standard, then develop a person with the remaining 20% to handle it. 3. What Brings the Greatest Reward? It has been said, “There are many things that may catch the eye of a leader, but there should only be a few things that catch his heart.” The things that bring the greatest personal reward are the fire lighters in a leader’s life. Nothing energizes a person the ways passion does. Is it time for you to reflect on your priorities this past year? Is it time for a change of priorities as you begin to set your goals and make plans for the coming year? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Outrageous Faith (part 1 of 5): Kill the Cow & Burn the Plow

Elisha asked for a double portion of Elijah's faith. The Bible records that Elisha performed more miracles in the Bible than any other person. Elisha demonstrated outrageous faith. Outrageous faith starts with outrageous commitment. So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him. Elisha then left his oxen and ran after Elijah. “Let me kiss my father and mother goodbye,” he said, “and then I will come with you.” “Go back,” Elijah replied. “What have I done to you?” So Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his servant. (1 Kings 19:19-21 NIV) Elisha had a boring job. Everyday, all he smelled was oxen poop and all he saw was oxen butt - all day, everyday. In this environment it would be very easy to lose hope of ever having a life of significance. But Elisha was faithful. When you are faithful with the little things, God will trust you with a lot. Elijah went up and through his cloak around him. He was declaring that God wanted to use Elisha just as God had used Elijah. Two principles to outrageous commitment: 1. You don't have to understand fully, in order to obey immediately. We must have margin in our lives: a padding such that we can respond to opportunities that God puts in our path. We must be in a posture of spiritual readiness. But even when God asks you to move, He usually does not give you all the details. We can't handle all the details. When He wanted Peter to step out of the boat, all he said was "come." He did not tell him to step out carefully: "Be careful now, don't get your knees wet, keep your eyes focused on Me." No, all He said was "come." You don't have to understand fully, in order to obey immediately! You can't eat filet mignon, when your mouth is full of Ding Dongs! What is your one word? Is it "come", "stay", "go", "stop", "quit", break it off". You will never understand fully, so stop trying, and start obeying. 2. Those God uses the most are the ones who hold onto stuff the least! Let go and let God. Do what Elisha did, "kill the cow & burn the plow." Don't have a plan B. There can be no contingency plans, no way to turn back! Do what the disciples did when Jesus called them, "they left everything." As you look at your life, answer the following question: "What cow does He want you to kill? What plow does He want you to burn?" How long has it been since you have had to trust God and not your bank account? As humans, we love security. Babies love their blanky. If we are to grow as Christians, we have to let go of our security blankets. To step towards our God-ordained destiny, we have to step away from our earthly security. Kill the cow & burn the plow. Isn't it time to develop an outrageous faith - right now! Do you know what you are uniquely designed and called to do? Are you having trouble transitioning into that calling? Is there something in your life that you have been thinking of pursuing for several years, but never committed to? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

What’s the Secret to Success?

My path, like that of so many others, has been a winding one, filled with discovery and lessons at every turn. In my personal quest for a more joy-filled and creative life, I have reinvented myself numerous times. Increasingly, we must all learn to do this, whether we choose different careers or a new place to live. Reinvention is required because change is a part of our world. It is here to stay. You have to learn to adapt to it, to embrace it, to create a life you love. I'm a late bloomer. I started my business at the age of 49. I was at a crossroads, and I knew I needed to take a different direction, but I wasn't sure what that was. I think we all feel that uncertainty when facing new challenges. One thing I knew for sure was that I wanted a career that would give me joy. During an interview I was once asked, "What's the secret to success?" The answer I gave is that there really is no secret at all. But, as I reflect upon my life, I believe there is one principle which has helped guide my journey and those of many others. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, a nuclear physicist, a corporate executive, or the pastor of a church – you must discover what you love to do. If you love it, you will work at it. If you work hard enough at it, you will become good at it. And if you are good at it, someone will pay you to do it. The secret to life is to pursue with passion what you believe you have been called to do. This will not only take care of your physical needs, but much more importantly will lead to a lifetime of fulfillment. Does change in your world require some reinvention right now? Do you know what you are uniquely designed to do? Are you having trouble transitioning into that calling? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Learn & Do Great Things

A leader is a lifelong learner. He/she is someone who never stops learning. A true leader makes the most of the hundred billion brain cells God has put on loan to him. A true leader is consumed with curiosity. The leader keeps asking and seeking and knocking. And the quest is never over because the questions never end. Leonardo da Vinci was determined to keep learning until the day he died. He once said, “I want to learn something new the day I die. Why? Because I can.” So go ahead and live as if you’ll die tomorrow. But keep learning as if you’ll live forever. If you learn despite the obstacles, and if you learn from your failures, you are destined to do great things. You were created for a purpose. There are opportunities to give you and assignments with which to entrust you. But I’m sure you have realized by this point in your life that you will face opposition along the way. People who are called to greatness face great challenges. No one ever promised you it would be easy. In fact, I can promise just the opposite - there will be great difficulties. But you can use each one to strengthen you to overcome the next obstacle. But this is only possible under these conditions - that you learn from the obstacles, that you learn from your failures, and that you never give up. No matter what comes your way, refuse to quit. Do you need help in overcoming obstacles and learning from your failures? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Decide to be Different

If you believe that time has passed you by, your best days are behind you, or that somehow you've failed too many times to have another chance, nothing could be further from the truth. Today is the best day to begin - the best opportunity for a new destiny. After his first audition, a casting director told actor Sidney Poitier, "Why don't you stop wasting people's time and go out and become a dishwasher or something?" It was at that moment, recalls Poitier, that he decided to devote his life to acting. He wasn't going to let someone else decide his life path. Stop sitting on the fence. Make a decision to be different. Stop straddling the middle of the road. There's nothing in the middle of the road, but yellow stripes and dead armadillo. Decide to do something now to make your life better. The choice is yours. "My decision is maybe - and that's final." Is this you? Being decisive is essential for a successful life. If you deny yourself commitment, what will you do with your life? Every accomplishment, great or small, starts with a decision. If you have the will to win, you have achieved half your success; if you don't, you have achieved half your failure. The moment you definitely commit yourself, change begins. All sorts of things happen to help you that never would have otherwise occurred. Kenneth Blanchard observed, "There is a difference between interests and commitment. When you are interested in doing something, you only do it when it is convenient. When you are committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results." Lack of decisiveness has caused more failures than lack of intelligence or ability. Indecision often gives an advantage to the other person because they did their thinking beforehand. Helen Keller said, "Science may have found a cure for most evil; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all-the apathy of human beings." Don't leave a decision for tomorrow that needs to be made today. Remember, don't be a "middle-of-the-roader" because the middle of the road is the worst place to try to go forward. You can do everything you ought to do once you make a decision. Today, decide on your dream. Do you need help in determining the best path forward? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Managing Your Time & Activities

One of the main causes of the pressure that invades our lives is our unwillingness to discard optional responsibilities - not because they're a waste of time, but simply because they distract us from the main goals of our lives. So how do you decide? How do you determine what to invest your time in and what not to? For many of us, we let the tyranny of the urgent dictate what we do next. The tyranny of the urgent occurs when we focus on what is due next, what has to be done before it is too late. For others, we get involved in a lot of really great things - some with a mission or purpose that we truly believe in. Examine any one of these activities and you would say they are very worthwhile. However, taken all together they are quite overwhelming and don't seem to progress us toward our main goals in life (if we even have goals that are well defined). So how do we decide what deserves out limited time - the only commodity in life that we cannot manufacture more of? The key lies in priorities that have been derived from specific goals in each of our five life dimensions: personal, family, faith, vocation, and community. These goals should have been developed from an assessment of where our lives are today versus a clear vision of where we are headed. And the vision should be one that is in complete alignment with a well defined life mission (our purpose for living). When these items exist, it becomes fairly easy to hold up any current activity against the mission, vision, goals, and priorities and say this supports my life's direction or not. In addition, new activities that would consume our time and efforts can also be held up against these and evaluated for whether we should be involved or not. When adhering to this process, "no" has can be one of the most liberating words you will ever use. Could you use some help in eliminating some of the activities in your life to achieve a more manageable and less stressful lifestyle? Have you developed a priority and time management system based on you life's mission, vision, and goals? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/