Incompetent & Ineffective Leaders (Part 2)

Few things can be more maddening to a good leader in the middle of an organization than working for an ineffective leader. We started our list of incompetent and ineffective leaders last week in part 1. Here are a few more examples. 4. The Selfish Leader: A selfish leader advances at the expense of everyone around him or her. It is the businesswoman who cheats suppliers in order to make her department look good so she can get a raise and/or promotion. It is the leader who selfishly hoards all the perks that come with his leadership position rather than sharing them with his staff. 5. The Chameleon Leader: The chameleon leader cannot be pinned down. People who have a chameleon leader never know how he will react. They wonder who’s turn it is each week to get unjustifiably ripped apart in the staff meeting. In the mornings, they wonder whether Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde came to work today. As a result, valuable time and energy that could be used getting work done is often wasted in trying to predict and anticipate the leader’s next move. 6. The Political Leader: Similar to the chameleon leader are political leaders. They can be just as difficult to pin down, but where emotional issues often fuel the chameleon leader’s problems, political leaders are motivated by the desire to get ahead. He or she sits the fence, or shifts their position with the popular opinion of his/her leadership. It’s hard to follow people whose decisions are based on political ambitions rather than the mission or the good of the organization. 7. The Controlling Leader: Have you ever worked for someone who wants to be in the middle of everything you do? Few things are more frustrating for a competent person. It’s difficult to generate momentum when the person you work for is continually interrupting your progress by micromanaging you. People who micromanage others are often driven by one of three things: the desire for perfection, which is unattainable, or the belief that no one else can do a job as well as they can, which really boils down to their thinking others’ contributions aren’t as valuable as their own, or professional insecurity. None of these makes for positive working conditions for the people answering to them. Are you struggling under an ineffective or incompetent leader? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

An Update from Curtis Songer

I would like to take this opportunity to make you aware of several very exciting developments at Truth@Life Coaching & Consulting… First of all, we are growing and expanding! I am actively training new coaches to work with me in Detroit and New York City. There is also a possibility of a next wave of coaches to expand into Chicago, Atlanta, and Charlotte. We are always looking for great candidates - maybe you know someone who is interested in becoming a Life Coach. Second, we are holding a number of local free information sessions over the next couple weeks to assist individuals with career planning and vocational transitions. These sessions will be ideal for anyone you may know who may be one of the following situations: 1. Their talents are not appreciated &/or they’re stuck in a dead-end job. 2. They are stressed & need better work/life balance. 3. Their present boss just doesn't understand them &/or they need to figure out how to get the next promotion. 4. They may need to re-tool for a different career path, but which one? 5. They're unemployed or feel they may be unemployed soon. 6. They are thinking about starting their own business. 7. They're just starting out and need guidance in either selecting or getting started in their career. The sessions will be held at the following times and locations. Please help me spread the word! Panera - Oakland, 3800 Forbes Avenue, Oakland, PA, 28-Apr, 7pm; Panera - Ross Park, 7217 McKnight Rd, Pittsburgh, PA, 30-Apr, 7pm; Panera - Cranberry, 20111 Route 19, Cranberry Township, PA, 3-May, 11am; Panera - Mt. Lebanon, 1500 Washington Road, Galleria Mall, Mt Lebanon, PA, 5-May, 7pm; Panera - Monroeville, 4172 William Penn Highway, Monroeville, PA, 7-May, 7pm. Finally, we have a new web site that will be going live soon at truthatlife.com. It’s not quite ready yet, but you can get a sneak preview of it at truthatlife.net. You can contact me at: Curtis Songer, Truth@Life Transformation Coaching & Consulting, curtis.songer@gmail.com, 248-396-6255.

Incompetent & Ineffective Leaders (Part 1)

Few things can be more maddening to a good leader in the middle of an organization than working for an ineffective leader. There are many different kinds of ineffective leaders, all of whom are frustrating to follow. Here are a few examples. 1. The Insecure Leader: These leaders think everything is about them, and as a result, every action, every piece of information, every decision is put through their filter of self-centeredness. When someone on their team performs exceptionally well, they fear being outshone, and they often try to keep him from rising up. When someone on their team does poorly, they react in anger because it makes them feel bad. 2. The Visionless Leader: Leaders who lack vision create two immediate problems for the people who work for them. First, they fail to provide direction or incentive to move forward. The Bible says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Why? Because they don’t go anywhere or do anything. That’s no way to live. Second, people who lack vision almost always lack passion. They have no fire – and no fuel to keep themselves and their people going. That doesn’t create the kind of positive environment that is exciting to work in. 3. The Incompetent Leader: Leaders who follow incompetent people often feel intense pressure to achieve goals that are unreasonable. They often don’t realize what they are asking for cannot be achieved with the resources at hand. Incompetent leaders are ineffective and they usually stay that way. The poet Samuel Johnson once said, “Advice is seldom welcome, and those who need it the most usually like it the least.” Are you struggling under an ineffective or incompetent leader? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Tension in the Middle (part 3 of 3)

It’s not enough to merely recognize that leading from somewhere in the middle of an organization can be stressful. It’s not good enough to simply survive. You want to thrive. Here are five suggestions for relieving the tension of managing from the middle: 1. Become Comfortable with the Middle We often think leadership is easier at the top. The reality is that it is actually easier to lead from the middle – if a really good leader is above you. Being in the middle can be a great place – as long as you have bought into the vision and believe in the leader. Good leaders at the top break ground for their people. They create momentum for the entire organization. You benefit from everything they do. So why not enjoy it (assuming you have a good leader over you), and learn from them too. 2. Know What to “Own” & What to Let Go Noting frees a person like clear lines of responsibility. So how do you get comfortable in the middle? Comfort is a function of expectations. The wider the gap between what you imagine to be and reality, the more disappointed you are likely to be. One of the best things you can do is to ask what is expected of you, and then maintain a dialogue concerning expectations with the people to whom you answer. 3. Find Quick Access to Answers When Caught in the Middle I can think of few people who get caught in the middle more than Executive Assistants. They experience tension to a high degree every day. The people they interact with are typically very demanding. And so is their boss. One of the best ways they can be helped is to get information to them as quickly as possible. Everybody needs to find a way to get quick answers when they are caught in the middle. Sometimes that can be very difficult, especially if you work for a person who is not very communicative. In such cases, you need to find others who can help you. 4. Never Violate Your Position or the Trust of Your Leader If you want to know what will increase tension to the breaking point, it’s violating the trust that’s given to you with your authority of position. That can mean abusing the power of your position, intentionally undermining your leader, or using the organization’s resources for personal gain. It has been said, “Trust is built one block at a time, but when it is violated, the entire wall comes crashing down.” As someone leading from the middle of the organization, your ability to sustain the authority invested in you is entirely dependent upon your faithfulness in serving the people who gave you that authority. 5. Find a Way to Relieve Stress You will never completely eliminate the stress, so you need to find a way to relieve it. One suggestion: Develop a file called, “Things I will Never do to My Team When I am the Top Leader.” You can short-circuit the temptation to let off steam with your co-workers by writing down your observations and putting them in a file. That may work for you, and it may not. If not, find something else: hit golf balls, jog, take up kickboxing, do aerobics, go for long walks, get a massage, etc. Leading from the middle of an organization is stressful, but so is being the top leader. The key to succeeding is to learn to deal with the tension of whatever position you are in, to overcome its obstacles, and make the most of its advantages and opportunities. If you do that, you can succeed from anywhere in the organization. How are you doing dealing with the tension? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Tension in the Middle (part 2)

The effects of tension in an organization are not experienced equally by everyone trying to lead from the middle of an organization. A leader’s temperament and ability certainly come into play. In addition, the way the tension impacts and leader is affected by the following five factors: 1. Empowerment: How much authority and responsibility does the person above you give you, and how clear are those lines? How clearly the lines of authority and responsibility have been drawn greatly impacts how strongly we feel the tension. The more vaguely the lines have been drawn, the greater the potential for success. If you’ve ever led a volunteer effort or organization, then you may have observed that high-powered leaders and entrepreneurs often experience the tension. As top leaders in the for-profit world, they are used to their authority being equal to their responsibility. They are used to casting vision, setting direction, and making things happen. When they volunteer to serve in an organization, they no longer possess all the authority, and they find themselves in the grey area of the middle. 2. Initiative: How do you balance initiating and not overstepping your boundaries? Good leaders rarely think in terms of boundaries; instead they think in terms of opportunities. They are initiators. The number one characteristic of leaders is the ability to make things happen. Sometimes that desire to initiate leads to the expansion of their responsibilities – and their boundaries. Other times it leads to the greater potential for tension. If you continually push the limits, it is likely that you will rub others the wrong way. 3. Environment: What is the leadership DNA of the organization and its leaders? Every organization has its own unique environment. If you have a military background, you can’t walk into a corporate environment and expect it to function like the army or marines. If your experience is in large corporations, and you have to work in a mom-and-pop business, you will have problems if you don’t adapt. If you are a leader in the middle of an organization, assess your environment. Is it one that increases or decreases the tension? Can you thrive in the kind of environment you’re in with the level of tension it presents? Do the positive aspects of the organization outweigh the negative impacts of the environment on you? 4. Job Parameters: How well do you know your job and how to do it? Have you ever noticed the level of tension you experience when you start looking for a new job? It’s quite high. The less familiar the work, the greater the tension. If you don’t know how to do the job, you’re going to be stressed, even if you’re a fast learner and have a teachable attitude. Remember what happens when the job’s primary activities are to the left of your position on the “Thinking Wavelength”. 5. Appreciation: Can you live without the credit? Someone once said, “What’s causing so much disharmony among the nations is the fact that some want to beat the big drum, few are willing to face the music, and none will play second fiddle.” The reality of leading from the middle of an organization is that you are not going to get as much public recognition and appreciation as the leaders at the top. That’s just the way it is. How are you doing dealing with the tension? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

The Tension in the Middle

One of the toughest things about being a leader in the middle of an organization is that you can’t be sure of where you stand. As a leader, you have some power and authority. You can make some decisions. You have access to some resources. You can call the people within your area to action and direct them in their work. At the same time, you also lack power in other areas. And if you overstep your authority, you can get yourself into real trouble. But if you are not the top leader, you are not running the show, even though you may be responsible for it. If you think you possess the vision and the skill to take the organization to a higher level, and if it requires the organization to go in a different direction from its present course, you don’t really have the authority to make such changes on your own. That can make you feel like you are caught in the middle. As the leader in the middle of an organization, the authority you do possess is not your own. Unless you are the owner and/or CEO of a company, the power you have is on loan from someone with higher authority. And that person has the power to take that authority away from you by firing you, demoting you, or moving you to another area of the business. That creates tension. How are you doing dealing with the tension? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Five Ways to Reduce Stress & Make Greater Progress

1) Slow down to go faster. By slowing down we can take time to discover our purpose and choose to fully live it each and every day. Making a move to the right hand lane may make you think things and life are going to pass you by. Yet, choosing to slow down lets us enjoy the road along the way, it can supercharge us to reach our ultimate destination. 2) Set clear goals. When you decide upon a goal, you override your failure mechanism and change the direction of your life. You go from being a rudder, drifting with the tide, to becoming a ship with a rudder, a compass and a clear destination, sailing straight toward your destination. 3) Schedule your priorities. Life can become very full very fast. If we first block off time for who and what is most important in our lives, it can actually free us up to really focus on all the rest. They key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities. 4) Squeeze the most out of your day. Write down the six most important things you need to accomplish. Not only will you start tomorrow ready to go, but subconsciously, you’ll also be working on those six projects while you sleep. 5) Visualize yourself as you want to be. There is a special way that you can accelerate your progress toward becoming the highly productive, effective, efficient person that you want to be. It consists of your thinking continually about the rewards and benefits of being an action-oriented, fast-moving, focused person. See yourself as the kind of person who gets important jobs done quickly and well on a consistent basis. Need help reducing stress and become more effective at accomplishing goals in your life? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Don’t Avoid Inevitable Interactions

Let’s pretend that you and "Sally" both work in the same Shipping & Receiving Department. She frequently gets under your skin. If you could press a button to ship her to another department, it would have been done five years ago. The problem is, no such button exists, and there’s no chance of change. To add fuel to the fire, your boss has just given you and Sally a large project to work on together. She suggests meeting for lunch to talk about the next steps, and you generate a fast list of reasons why you can’t make it. You have officially brushed Sally off. Now what? Unfortunately, you’re still at square one (that’s what), and you still have the project and have to figure out how to work together. This is when relationship management skills are absolutely necessary, because though you might not choose a friendship with this person, you and Sally are now responsible for the same project. Here’s a basic strategy for work with Sally: 1. Do not avoid her or the situation. Accept it and make the choice to use your EQ skills to move forward with her. 2. You’ll need to watch your emotions and make careful decisions about how to manage those emotions. Since you’re not in this alone, conjure up your social awareness skills to being Sally into the fold and put yourself in her shoes. 3. Meet with her to learn about what experience she has to offer and her preferences for working with you on this project. Observe her body language and see how she responds to you. Maybe you frustrate her just as much! This may hurt a little, but you may actually lay the groundwork for a working relationship. 4. Share your preferences for managing the project and come to an agreement. You don’t need to tell Sally that you don’t care for her. Instead, you can share with her that you’d prefer to work independently on separate parts of the project and meet along the way to ensure you’re both on track. 5. If Sally agrees, your work process has been hammered out. If she doesn’t agree, it’s time to apply more self-management and social awareness skills until you reach an agreement. 6. If you get frustrated along the way (and chances are you will), ask yourself why and decide how to manage yourself. Loop back with Sally at your next meeting and remind yourselves of the goals of the project. At the end of the project, find a way to acknowledge what you both accomplished together. Do you have difficulty working with some people? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Use Your Anger

Greek philosopher Aristotle once said, “Anyone can become angry – that’s easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, this is not easy.” This is an enduring insight into managing our emotions and relationships. If you can master this one, you are well on the way to a successful emotional intelligence journey. Anger is an emotion that exists for a reason; anger is not an emotion to bottle-up or ignore. If you manage it properly and use it purposefully, you can get results that engage your relationships. Think of the football coach who gets straight to the point at halftime. His stern feedback grabs his players’ attention and focuses them for the second half. The team returns refreshed, refocused and ready to win. In this case, the coach managed his emotions to motivate others to action. Expressing anger in appropriate ways communicates your strong feelings and reminds people of the gravity if a situation. Expressing anger too much or at the wrong times desensitizes people to what you are feeling, making it hard for others to take you seriously. Using a strong emotion like anger to benefit your relationships will take time to master, because hopefully you don’t have daily opportunities to practice! There is a lot of behind-the-scenes preparation for this strategy, starting with becoming aware of your anger and what triggers it. Use your self-awareness skills to think about and define your varying degrees of anger – from what annoys you a little to what enrages you and sends you off the deep end. Write these down and choose words that are specific. Then write examples to explain when you feel this way. Determine when you should show your anger based on the criterion that if it’s shared it will improve the relationship somehow. To make your choices, use your social awareness skills to think about the other people involved and their responses. Remember that relationship management is about making choices and acting with the goal of creating an honest, deep connection with others. To do this, you need to be honest with others and with yourself, which sometimes means using anger with a purpose. Do you want to improve the way you manage your emotions and the appropriate use of anger? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Be Accessible

The “Open Door” policy originated in 1899 when the United States feared it would lose its trading privileges in the East. The United States declared an Open Door policy, allowing all trading nations access to the Chinese market. “Access” was the key word. It’s an important concept that quickly moved from trading policies to the workplace. Today, a true open door policy allows any employee to talk to anyone at any level, fostering upward and downward communication through direct and easy access to everyone. Ask those around you if you should adopt an open door policy to better manage your relationships. If you need to be more accessible and show people they can have unscheduled, informal conversations with you, then adopting this policy might be right for you. Keep in mind that you don’t have to stretch yourself too thin by being there for everyone at any time; you simply have to communicate your version of the policy and then stick to it. Use your self-awareness skills to identify how the policy will work best for you, and manage yourself to make it work. Ongoing observations of others, also known as social awareness, should help you to determine how well it’s working. Remember that increasing your accessibility can only improve your relationships by opening the door to communication, even if it’s virtual (by email or phone). People will feel valued and respected because of the time you’re giving them; and you get the opportunity to learn about others in the process. At the end of the day, the policy is a win-win for everyone. Do you have difficulty maintaining the balance between people having sufficient access to you and you having sufficient privacy to get work done? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/