Love God, Not the World

If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
1 John 2:15

I don't have to tell you how hard the world is vying for your affections. It beckons you and me with the lure of lesser loyalties. The world wants you to have a better car, a bigger house, more-fashionable clothing, a sleeker cell phone, a snazzier computer. And nearly every day in the mail, you are offered a brand-new credit card to buy it all with.

But what you may not realize is that money and possessions are not the only things the world offers to demand your affections and compromise on one of the Bible's clearest commands.
What in the world do you love? Why not complete a year-end inventory of your heart and its affections? Just like a year-end inventory in a big warehouse, walk down the aisles of your heart and take note of what clutters the shelves. How do you use your time? What do you think about and talk about?

Perhaps you'll find some "old inventory" that should be moved out of your heart. Perhaps there are some habits you've developed over the years--and if you are honest, you really love these old habits more than you love God. Things like hobbies or television--or perhaps even addictions like food, alcohol, drugs or pornography.

Perhaps the inventory will reveal a possession that you realize owns you. It is in competition with God for your love. Perhaps it's time to clear out some inventory and replace it with some fresh obedience to God's commands. Wasn't it Jesus who said the greatest commandment was to "love the Lord your God with all your heart" (Matthew 22:37)?

Fall in love with God. Love His people. Love His mission and will. When you're consumed with love for Him, you won't have much room left to love the world.


Please comment below or email me directly at csonger@new-communitychurch.org

Ever Feel Down?

How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me?Psalm 13:1

Some people believe the words "Christian" and "depression" should never appear in the same sentence. They believe that a person whose Bible proclaims, "The joy of the LORD is your strength" (Nehemiah 8:10), should know better than to be unhappy.

It makes you wonder, though, if that was the case with William Cowper, author of such classic hymn lyrics as "God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform" and "There is a fountain filled with blood, drawn from Emmanuel's veins." Severe depression forced him early in life to abandon his career in law. If not for the patient mentorship of John Newton (composer of "Amazing Grace"), who knows how low Cowper's depression would have taken him?

Charles Spurgeon struggled mightily with depression, particularly after a false cry of "Fire!" set off a stampede in his packed-house congregation, killing several in attendance. He often talked about hearing his "own chains clank" as he delivered his sermons, comparing his feelings to a chariot stuck in the mud.

King David, we know, cried out in melancholy many times through the psalms. Paul, who wrote, "God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus" (2 Corinthians 7:6), certainly knew seasons of darkness and despair. Biblical figures such as Moses, Job and Elijah went through overwhelming valleys of doubt and fear.

So if either of you find yourself under the heavy weight of depression today, grappling to work free but not always able to win the fight, you're not alone in your struggle. Your suffering is not unknown by God. Your dark circumstances are not beyond His power to heal, restore and redeem.

As you seek God for relief, take a measure of comfort in your good company.

Please comment below or email me directly at csonger@new-communitychurch.org

What is God's Plan for Your Marriage?

In Genesis chapter 2 the Bible says, "For this cause (marriage), a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and unashamed." This is a picture of complete transparency and intimacy. But how is it accomplished? It begins with unconditionally accepting your mate as God’s provision for your needs. To understand what I mean by this, read on…..

God’s plan is that we accept (not just receive) our mate from God. This is not easy. It means that we have to view our mate’s apparent weaknesses as qualities that God may be using to transform our own life. This means that we must unconditionally accept our spouse on the basis of who they are, not what they do. It’s a position-based relationship, not a performance-based relationship. It’s just like our relationship with our Savior Jesus. He accepts us because, out of His mercy and grace, He calls us His children (a position-based relationship) if we believe in Him, not because we do good things to earn our way to heaven (a performance-based relationship).

Therefore, we must accept our mate because they were designed by God, as a gift to us, to be the perfect fulfillment of all our needs - past, present, and future. God designed us, so He knows our needs better that we know ourselves. It makes sense then that he is a better designer of the fulfillment of our needs than we could ever be. So rather than change our mate to become someone we think they should be, we should be more concerned with accepting them for who they are - God’s provision for our needs.

This can be extremely tough! In fact, we can only accomplish this by the power of God’s Holy Spirit and by having faith in Him. So the basis for my unconditional acceptance of my mate is faith in God's character and trustworthiness to care for my needs. We are only able to fully accept our mate by coming to know God and trusting in His character.

A godly marriage then is not created by finding (or trying to make) a perfect flawless person. Rather, it is created by allowing God's perfect love and acceptance (and forgiveness) to flow through one imperfect person - you - toward another imperfect person - your mate.

Please comment below or email me directly at csonger@new-communitychurch.org

Remembering 9/11

Many of the thoughts I had in the days following 9/11 are just as appropriate in these current days of insecurity:

1. Trust in God, not men (see Jeremiah 17:5-8). God and His plans are not upset by the actions of men. He is the anchor in a storm.
   
2. Live for eternity and God’s kingdom now (see Matthew 25:14-30). Determine God’s purpose for you. How does He want to use you now to reach, influence and serve others in the cause of Christ?
   
3. Share the gospel boldly (see 2 Corinthians 5:20-21). People need and want to hear about your spiritual journey - really they do!
   
4. Embrace biblical values now, not just when there’s a crisis (see 2 Peter 3:10-13). Give others the courage to live for Christ today, at all times, in all their spheres of influence, and not wait for tomorrow (see Hebrews 3:13).

One of my favorite traditional hymns of our faith is Martin Luther’s “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God.” Perhaps you know it:

A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing;
Our helper He, amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing:
For still our ancient foe, doth seek to work us woe;
His craft and power are great, and armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.

But the God of heaven is infintely greater. He loves you more than you can imagine and He has a perfect provision for all your needs. Those are great words to remember during these troubled times.

Please enter a comment below or respond driectly to csonger@new-communitychurch.org

Accountability – We All Need Alarm Bells

In Galatians 6:7-9 the Bible says, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

We can’t pull a fast one on God. He sees all and cannot be deceived. He notices our shortcuts and also our effort when we do well. To ensure that we live by this truth, we need to seek others to hold us accountable and act as our “alarm bells”. Invite others to ask you tough questions, such as the following:

1. Is my personal walk with God up-to-date? Example: Am I being faithful to my daily quiet time?

2. Am I keeping my priorities straight? Example: Do I have the proper balance between work and family and other activities?

3. Am I asking myself the hard questions? Example: How am I doing I the area of personal purity?

4. Am I accountable to someone in authority? Who?

5. Am I sensitive to what God is saying to the whole body of Christ? (It’s not all about me)

6. Am I overly concerned with building my image? Example: Is what people see vs. who I really am the same thing?

7. Do I put more stock in events (and tasks) rather than process (and building relationships)?

8. Am I a loner in my leadership and personal life? Example: Is there too much secrecy in my life?

9. Am I aware and honest about my weaknesses (my blind spots)?

10. Is my calling constantly before me? Do I even know what my personal life mission is?

Ask yourself these questions on a regular basis and you will be headed down a road of appropriate accountability. We all need accountability, in our personal lives, as well as our professional.

David is Off to College!

The recent departure of my first-born going off to college was an emotional time. It was a time to stop and reflect on what I had done right in his life and where I had missed the boat. Unfortunately, missed opportunities are hard to make up. Fortunately, I have 5 more kids to try to “get it right” with. All this reflection led to some generalizations around what wisdom was it that I needed to impart before it is too late – to my children, as well as to others around me – what were the key things that God has been teaching me. Many things came to mind, but in the end I boiled it down to my “top 10”. The top 10 key lessons that God had taught me through the years – based on my few successes and my many failures. I think for every man there is likely some overlap and undoubtedly some uniqueness in this list. Whatever the case, here’s mine…….

1. Practice unconditional love in all your most important relationships, especially your marriage.

2. Do what you love to do and do your best.

3. Invest your life in others, not in things or accomplishments.

4. God & His Word are the only things to base your life on.

5. Flee lust and avoid all sexual temptations.

6. Delay gratification, or better said, do not seek instant gratification. Learn to have patience.

7. Honesty is always the best policy.

8. Practice brotherhood and accountability.

9. There is no greater responsibility than parenting. We are stewards of His children.

10. Be Missional. We are on a mission for God. Stay personally externally focused.

That’s my list – what’s yours? I believe you need to know what it is, because in it lay the reasons you were put here on this earth. There are no mistakes in God’s economy. I believe He uses every lesson taught to every one of us to grow us all as a body of believers and to build up His kingdom.

Manly Camp & The Importance of a “Community of Men” (July 30, 2009)

Far too many men today try to “go it alone”. The fact is God did not intend for it to be that way. God did not design us to go through life alone. The knights of medieval times understood and embraced this concept. They believed strongly in “the community of men”. They believed it took a community of knights to strengthen and support one another. They believed that only a community of knights could adequately raise up the next generation of knights and they built a process around becoming a page, squire, then knight. Each level had its own ceremony or “rite of passage” to the next level.

Much like knights believe only existing knights could raise up future knights, so it is that it takes “godly men to raise godly boys”. As a Christian, I believe that a community of godly men can do a better job than one man alone. God did not design me to go through life alone. I seek out godly men to support me and hold me accountable in my spiritual journey, as well as my process for raising my boys to be godly men. I encourage you to do the same. If you do, you will be positively influenced by this community of godly men.

The Bible tells us we are influenced by those that we spend time with:

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.
A community of godly men are like iron – let them sharpen you!

Ecclesiastes 4:9,10,12
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.
As a community of godly men stand together, making each individually stronger.

1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."
A community of godly men is a good place to develop friendships.

Hebrews 10:24
And let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds.
A community of godly men will help to make you successful in your walk with God.

A community of godly men can be there for you. They can listen to you when you’re hurting or simply need advice or help. They can be a resource to help you live a godly life and to become a godly man. They can become your wisest friends. Use them!

At New Community Church, I find my own “community of godly men”. One example of their support is our annual “Manly Camp”. At this camp (August 7-9 and 14-16 this year), the community of godly men invest their time and support in assisting one another by teaching and affirming their boys. It is a great experience – I hope you will participate if you are local to New Community Church. If not, I encourage you to seek out your own “community of godly men”.

Please comment on this article below, or email me directly at csonger@new-communitychurch.org

How to Avoid the Five Threats to Oneness & The Death of a Marriage (July 30, 2009)

The five threats to oneness, which lead to the five phases of marriage deterioration (both of which were described in my previous blog), can be avoided by understanding and practicing God's purposes for marriage, God's plan for marriage, God's process for marriage, God's product for marriage, and God's power for marriage.

The Bible gives a great blueprint for each of these concepts. It describes the five purposes for marriage. If these purposes are lived out, then the marriage is fulfilled (and is fulfilling) as God intended. God's plan for marriage is based on unconditional love and acceptance. God's process for marriage includes understanding a husband’s and wife’s roles and responsibilities, as well as practicing good communication techniques. God's product for marriage includes two great outcomes: achieving oneness between a husband and wife, as well as leaving a spiritual legacy to future generations.

Finally, the secret to having a truly successful marriage lies in activating God's power in your marriage. How well you do this lies in how effective you are at submitting to the power of the Holy Spirit. In Isaiah 53:6 it says, "All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; but the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him." It is only as you yield and submit your life to God, obey His Word, and deny yourself that you can experience intimacy and build a truly godly marriage.

I’ll explore each and every one of these concepts in future blog posts. In the meantime, if you have a question about any one of them, please comment below or email me directly at csonger@new-communitychurch.org

Leaders & Problem Solving (July 30, 2009)

In James 1:2-8 we see a great process for problem solving:

1. Think correctly – maintain a godly perspective, be contemplative. We can find joy in the midst of problem solving only when we recognize their purpose and results (vv. 2-4). The key is maintaining a godly perspective. Leaders must think correctly about problems and see that their followers grow stronger through them.

2. Ask (better yet, plead with) God for wisdom – God gives us trials in such a way that we lack nothing in the end. James encourages us to always ask God, in faith, for the wisdom that only He can provide (v. 5). It is no sign of weakness for a leader to pray for wisdom when facing problems.

3. Act & Expect – If we have a godly perspective on the problem, and we have asked God for wisdom (in faith), then we must act on the insights He has given us. Once acted upon, the only remaining thing to do is to wait expectantly for God’s outcomes (vv. 6-8).

Once leaders gain perspective and trust God for wisdom, they must act on the solution He has laid on their heart and exude optimism as they wait to see how God’s plan will unfold.

Comments are welcomed below or by email to me directly at csonger@new-communitychurch.org

TLC Classes for Fall 2009 (July 29, 2009)

We are excited about the integrated study NCC will be doing this fall, “40 Days of Community”. It is our goal to get everyone involved in a house group doing this study. We may even have a TLC small group dedicated to the integrated study to support those who cannot be in a house group. Sunday’s Question of the Day is related to what your intentions are for participating in a TLC small group, beginning in September.

In addition to your house group, which of the following topics would most interest you this fall (please select one of the following):
A. Surviving in Uncertain Economic Times (TBD)
B. A New Creation / Worldview study (TBD)
C. Bible Study of Genesis (Dr. Bibza)
D. Marriage for Young Marrieds (Mark & Gina Bolton)
E. Preparing for Adolescence & Parenting Teens (Curtis & Martha Songer during Student Ministries)
F. Women’s study: A Relational Bible Series for Women on Patience and Self Control (Teaching Team: D. Kisiday, M. Pinyot, A. Ferguson, & H. Haff)
G. I can’t be in a house group, so I would like the opportunity to take the integrated study, 40 Days of Community during TLC
H. I will not be participating in any TLC small group

I hope you will take a moment on Sunday to complete the Contact Card indicating your preference. Alternatively, you can let me know your intentions right now by commenting below or emailing me at csonger@new-communitychurch.org