Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3
The 50/50 Plan is destined to fail for several reasons:
First, acceptance is based on performance. Many people unknowingly base their acceptance of their spouses on performance. Performance becomes the glue that holds the relationship together, but it isn't really glue at all. It's more like Velcro. It seems to stick, but it comes apart when a little pressure is applied. What a marriage needs is superglue--but more on that later.
Second, giving is based on merit. With the "meet me halfway" approach, a husband would give affection to his wife only when he felt she had earned it. If she always cooked tasty meals and balanced the checkbook then he would drop her a few crumbs of praise and loving attention. She, in turn, would lavish affection and praise only when he vacuumed the carpet and always arrived home on time.
Third, motivation for action is based on how each partner feels. As a newlywed, it's easy to act sacrificially because the pounding heart and romantic feelings fuel the desire to please. But what happens when those feelings diminish? If you don't feel like doing the right thing, perhaps you won't do it at all. Each spouse has a tendency to focus on the weaknesses of the other. Ask a husband or wife to list his or her spouse's strengths in one column and the weaknesses in another, and the weaknesses will usually outnumber the strengths five to one.
Fourth, the world's plan, the 50/50 performance-based relationship, is destined to fail because it is contrary to God's plan.
What a marriage needs is the superglue of Philippians 2:3: "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than yourselves." It's what we refer to as the 100/100 Plan, which requires a 100 percent effort from each of you to serve your spouse.
The Bible describes this plan well in Matthew 22:39: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." There's no closer neighbor than the one you wake up to each morning! And since most of us love ourselves passionately, we are well on the way to implementing the 100/100 Plan if we take a similar approach to loving our spouses.
Start by stating the 100/100 Plan like this: "I will do what I can to love you without demanding an equal amount in return." In marriage you will hear a voice that says, Why are you making the bed this morning when she wouldn't bring you a soft drink last night? Or, Why should I not buy this outfit when he spent fifty dollars last weekend on golf? That voice has to be silenced if you are to live out the 100/100 Plan.
Yes, there will be times when one person appears to get the advantage in the relationship. But love requires sacrifice. Stick with the 100/100 Plan and you will see increasing cooperation and intimacy in your marriage.
Applying grace is critical. Sometimes a couple can make issues out of things that really don't matter. Maybe we had parents who did that as we grew up, but that's not the type of person I want to be or one I'd enjoy living with. Martha and I have learned over the years to let a lot slide; we don't take issue or talk about many minor disappointments.
Marriage is the union of two imperfect people who in their selfishness, sinfulness, and demands of each other will cause disappointment and hurt. You must lay aside those difficulties and hold fast to forgiveness, love, and Christ's command to love even those who don't at times appear to love you. You will never have all of your expectations met in marriage on this fallen planet. But if you concentrate on implementing the 100/100 Plan, your life will be so full of satisfaction that you may not care.
Please comment below or email me directly at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Superglue Your Marriage (Part 1)
Superglue Your Marriage (Part 1)
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3
When two people get married, they have high expectations about their relationship. An unspoken assumption by each one is that the other will "meet me halfway." This is the world's plan for marriage. They called it the 50/50 Plan, which says, "You do your part, and I'll do mine." This concept sounds logical, but couples who use it are destined for disappointment and failure.
A friend of mine tells the following story: We spent the first year and a half of our marriage in Boulder, Colorado, where the winters are cold and electric blankets are standard equipment for survival. I can recall how both of us enjoyed sliding into those toasty-warm sheets after the electric blanket had thawed them. However, we couldn't always remember to turn off all the lights. We would snuggle in, and Barbara would say, "Sweetheart, did you remember to turn off all the lights?"
I would hop out of our comfy bed and run barefoot through the 55-degree apartment, turning off light after light. It didn't happen that often, so I didn't mind until one night when I dropped into bed totally exhausted. Just as I slipped into the third stage of anesthesia, my wife gave me a poke and said, "Sweetheart, aren't you going to turn off the lights?" I groaned, "Honey, why don't you turn off the lights tonight?" She replied, "I thought you would because my dad always turned off the lights."
Suddenly, I was wide awake. It dawned on me why I had been suffering occasional minor frostbite on my feet. I shot back, "But I'm not your dad!" The expectations we brought to marriage set us up to buy into the 50/50 Plan. My wife was sure that I would do my part and meet her halfway by always getting up to turn off the lights. On the night I flatly refused, I was pushing her to do her part and meet me halfway.
Our disagreement revealed the biggest weakness of the 50/50 Plan: It is impossible to determine if your spouse has met you halfway. Because neither of you can agree on where halfway is, each is left to scrutinize the other's performance from a jaded, often selfish perspective. Many times in a marriage, both partners are busy, overworked, and feel taken for granted. The real question isn't who faced the most pressure that day. The important issue is how you build oneness and teamwork instead of keeping score and waiting for the other person to meet you halfway. Check back later for how to build oneness in your marriage and not fall prey to The World’s 50/50 Plan.
Please comment below or email me directly at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3
When two people get married, they have high expectations about their relationship. An unspoken assumption by each one is that the other will "meet me halfway." This is the world's plan for marriage. They called it the 50/50 Plan, which says, "You do your part, and I'll do mine." This concept sounds logical, but couples who use it are destined for disappointment and failure.
A friend of mine tells the following story: We spent the first year and a half of our marriage in Boulder, Colorado, where the winters are cold and electric blankets are standard equipment for survival. I can recall how both of us enjoyed sliding into those toasty-warm sheets after the electric blanket had thawed them. However, we couldn't always remember to turn off all the lights. We would snuggle in, and Barbara would say, "Sweetheart, did you remember to turn off all the lights?"
I would hop out of our comfy bed and run barefoot through the 55-degree apartment, turning off light after light. It didn't happen that often, so I didn't mind until one night when I dropped into bed totally exhausted. Just as I slipped into the third stage of anesthesia, my wife gave me a poke and said, "Sweetheart, aren't you going to turn off the lights?" I groaned, "Honey, why don't you turn off the lights tonight?" She replied, "I thought you would because my dad always turned off the lights."
Suddenly, I was wide awake. It dawned on me why I had been suffering occasional minor frostbite on my feet. I shot back, "But I'm not your dad!" The expectations we brought to marriage set us up to buy into the 50/50 Plan. My wife was sure that I would do my part and meet her halfway by always getting up to turn off the lights. On the night I flatly refused, I was pushing her to do her part and meet me halfway.
Our disagreement revealed the biggest weakness of the 50/50 Plan: It is impossible to determine if your spouse has met you halfway. Because neither of you can agree on where halfway is, each is left to scrutinize the other's performance from a jaded, often selfish perspective. Many times in a marriage, both partners are busy, overworked, and feel taken for granted. The real question isn't who faced the most pressure that day. The important issue is how you build oneness and teamwork instead of keeping score and waiting for the other person to meet you halfway. Check back later for how to build oneness in your marriage and not fall prey to The World’s 50/50 Plan.
Please comment below or email me directly at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
God's Amazing Promise
Luke 12:22-32
Anxiety is reaching epidemic proportions in our culture. As believers, however, we are commanded not to worry (v. 22). Instead, we're to rely on a conditional promise from our heavenly Father: If we will seek His kingdom, all our needs will be provided (v. 31). This is the opposite of the world's philosophy, which tells us to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and do what we can to meet our own needs. What a relief to rely on the sovereign King of all creation instead of our meager strength.
Consider these qualities of our King:
• He keeps His word. Every promise is backed by His divine nature. According to Titus 1:2, God cannot lie. He never makes a promise that He won't keep.
• He is all-knowing. Our heavenly Father is mindful of all our needs—the ones we bring to Him in prayer as well as those of which we are unaware.
• He is all-powerful. The sovereign Ruler of the universe backs His promises with almighty power. "Nothing will be impossible with God" (Luke 1:37).
• He cares. God's provision for birds and flowers is proof of His even greater care for those who are made in His image. Not only is He able to meet our needs, but He also wants to provide for us.
Will you believe God, seek His kingdom, and rest in the peace that passes understanding? Or will you doubt Him and live with the anxiety of not being sure your needs will be met? The promise is given, the fulfillment is certain, and now the choice is yours.
Please respond below or email your comments to me at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Anxiety is reaching epidemic proportions in our culture. As believers, however, we are commanded not to worry (v. 22). Instead, we're to rely on a conditional promise from our heavenly Father: If we will seek His kingdom, all our needs will be provided (v. 31). This is the opposite of the world's philosophy, which tells us to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and do what we can to meet our own needs. What a relief to rely on the sovereign King of all creation instead of our meager strength.
Consider these qualities of our King:
• He keeps His word. Every promise is backed by His divine nature. According to Titus 1:2, God cannot lie. He never makes a promise that He won't keep.
• He is all-knowing. Our heavenly Father is mindful of all our needs—the ones we bring to Him in prayer as well as those of which we are unaware.
• He is all-powerful. The sovereign Ruler of the universe backs His promises with almighty power. "Nothing will be impossible with God" (Luke 1:37).
• He cares. God's provision for birds and flowers is proof of His even greater care for those who are made in His image. Not only is He able to meet our needs, but He also wants to provide for us.
Will you believe God, seek His kingdom, and rest in the peace that passes understanding? Or will you doubt Him and live with the anxiety of not being sure your needs will be met? The promise is given, the fulfillment is certain, and now the choice is yours.
Please respond below or email your comments to me at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Friday, May 28, 2010
Is It Enough?
Through His own blood, He entered the holy place once for all, having obtained eternal redemption.
Hebrews 9:12
It began as a short, one-night romantic getaway for Martin and Gracia Burnham. It turned into a year-long nightmare when armed Philippine rebels burst into their cabin and took them hostage. These humble, hardworking missionaries, whose hearts had been wedded to their work in the Philippines, now found themselves with a handful of other captives, trudging at gunpoint through the tropical jungles of this island nation.
By the time it was all over, Martin was dead from a stray bullet fired during their rescue. Gracia escaped but was a widow. There are many amazing accounts of faith recorded in Gracia's autobiography, In the Presence of My Enemies, describing the events and emotions of those harrowing 12 months. But one of the most haunting was one she shared with us one day in a radio interview.
As their hostage odyssey neared Easter, Martin and Gracia were told by their captors that a sizable amount of ransom money had appeared in the camp. Gracia's family had collected it, hoping against hope that it would be sufficient to satisfy the terrorists' demands. But in the typical fashion of irrational diplomacy, the leaders of the group called the couple over and made this curt pronouncement: "There is a ransom that's been paid for you, but we've decided it's not enough."
That really struck me, especially with "Easter" and "ransom" being mentioned in such close proximity. How tragic would it be to go through life, not knowing for sure whether Christ's payment -- His ransom for us -- was enough. What if our lives, instead of being safe and secure in the arms of His forever provision, were still teetering in limbo, subject to the changing whims of an unpredictable, unjust God?
There are many things in this life we do worry about. But thankfully, we won't have to worry about our eternal salvation. His (Jesus) ransom has already been declared complete and acceptable on our behalf.
Please comment below or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Hebrews 9:12
It began as a short, one-night romantic getaway for Martin and Gracia Burnham. It turned into a year-long nightmare when armed Philippine rebels burst into their cabin and took them hostage. These humble, hardworking missionaries, whose hearts had been wedded to their work in the Philippines, now found themselves with a handful of other captives, trudging at gunpoint through the tropical jungles of this island nation.
By the time it was all over, Martin was dead from a stray bullet fired during their rescue. Gracia escaped but was a widow. There are many amazing accounts of faith recorded in Gracia's autobiography, In the Presence of My Enemies, describing the events and emotions of those harrowing 12 months. But one of the most haunting was one she shared with us one day in a radio interview.
As their hostage odyssey neared Easter, Martin and Gracia were told by their captors that a sizable amount of ransom money had appeared in the camp. Gracia's family had collected it, hoping against hope that it would be sufficient to satisfy the terrorists' demands. But in the typical fashion of irrational diplomacy, the leaders of the group called the couple over and made this curt pronouncement: "There is a ransom that's been paid for you, but we've decided it's not enough."
That really struck me, especially with "Easter" and "ransom" being mentioned in such close proximity. How tragic would it be to go through life, not knowing for sure whether Christ's payment -- His ransom for us -- was enough. What if our lives, instead of being safe and secure in the arms of His forever provision, were still teetering in limbo, subject to the changing whims of an unpredictable, unjust God?
There are many things in this life we do worry about. But thankfully, we won't have to worry about our eternal salvation. His (Jesus) ransom has already been declared complete and acceptable on our behalf.
Please comment below or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Five Essentials for a Thriving Marriage
The following are 5 essentials for a growing, thriving marriage:
1. Be thankful for your spouse.
The demands of life, family, and work can cloud your attitude toward the one you chose to accompany you through life. Thanking God often for your spouse is a practical way to focus on what is good and admirable about him or her. It is helpful to occasionally reflect on the early days and recall what attracted you, what made you pledge your life and love to each other, and be thankful.
2. Practice communicating from the heart.
It is vital to communicate authentically in both the good and the difficult times of marriage. As you grow together, you will learn more about the how and when of communicating well with your spouse, so pay attention to what works and what doesn't. Transparent conversation where each of you risks revealing your deepest thoughts, ideas, fears, hopes, and dreams creates the strong foundation of a lasting marriage.
3. Be intimate.
From relational intimacy springs sexual intimacy. The safety of being known and still being accepted--in spite of our flaws--finds its expression in marriage through sex. It is a gift to married couples from God. Relational and sexual intimacy keeps a marriage from deteriorating into little more than a legally arranged partnership. Remember, it takes time and attentiveness to nurture this kind of relationship.
4. Practice the power of forgiveness.
Because we are broken, imperfect human beings, we will fail our spouse repeatedly. We will focus on flaws, cease to communicate, and offend each other without trying. All of this demands a steady supply of forgiveness. There is great power in forgiveness; it says, "The fight is over and I will not try to punish you." Failing marriages can be revived by forgiveness; healthy marriages are sustained by it.
5. Be teachable.
Marriages are always a work in progress. Each spouse is changing and developing, which means there are new things to learn at every age. Sometimes marriages run into problems that need the help of a third party. If this happens in your marriage, find someone who will work in support of your marriage, not just agree with your grievances. Make sure this person is committed to both Christ and the two of you.
As you break from the noise of your day to reflect on the ways God is blessing you through the life of your spouse, I pray that your heart will be filled with gratitude for this gift He has given--someone to love and to be loved by - fashioned by the Creator especially for you. I pray God will show you ways to express your heart openly to your spouse so the two of you will grow even closer. I pray that you will enjoy intimacy of soul and body and that your passion becomes fuller and deeper each day. I pray that the love in your marriage will be so real, so vibrant, so lasting that all who see it will know God gave this love to you.
Please comment below or respond via email at curtis.songer@gmail.com
1. Be thankful for your spouse.
The demands of life, family, and work can cloud your attitude toward the one you chose to accompany you through life. Thanking God often for your spouse is a practical way to focus on what is good and admirable about him or her. It is helpful to occasionally reflect on the early days and recall what attracted you, what made you pledge your life and love to each other, and be thankful.
2. Practice communicating from the heart.
It is vital to communicate authentically in both the good and the difficult times of marriage. As you grow together, you will learn more about the how and when of communicating well with your spouse, so pay attention to what works and what doesn't. Transparent conversation where each of you risks revealing your deepest thoughts, ideas, fears, hopes, and dreams creates the strong foundation of a lasting marriage.
3. Be intimate.
From relational intimacy springs sexual intimacy. The safety of being known and still being accepted--in spite of our flaws--finds its expression in marriage through sex. It is a gift to married couples from God. Relational and sexual intimacy keeps a marriage from deteriorating into little more than a legally arranged partnership. Remember, it takes time and attentiveness to nurture this kind of relationship.
4. Practice the power of forgiveness.
Because we are broken, imperfect human beings, we will fail our spouse repeatedly. We will focus on flaws, cease to communicate, and offend each other without trying. All of this demands a steady supply of forgiveness. There is great power in forgiveness; it says, "The fight is over and I will not try to punish you." Failing marriages can be revived by forgiveness; healthy marriages are sustained by it.
5. Be teachable.
Marriages are always a work in progress. Each spouse is changing and developing, which means there are new things to learn at every age. Sometimes marriages run into problems that need the help of a third party. If this happens in your marriage, find someone who will work in support of your marriage, not just agree with your grievances. Make sure this person is committed to both Christ and the two of you.
As you break from the noise of your day to reflect on the ways God is blessing you through the life of your spouse, I pray that your heart will be filled with gratitude for this gift He has given--someone to love and to be loved by - fashioned by the Creator especially for you. I pray God will show you ways to express your heart openly to your spouse so the two of you will grow even closer. I pray that you will enjoy intimacy of soul and body and that your passion becomes fuller and deeper each day. I pray that the love in your marriage will be so real, so vibrant, so lasting that all who see it will know God gave this love to you.
Please comment below or respond via email at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
An Update on the Songer Family
Many people have been asking how we are doing as we transition off staff at New Community Church, so here is an update...
We have very fond memories of our years of service at New Community and the many ministries we helped to get started there: the AWANA children’s discipleship program, the College Ministry, Compassion Days, the Prayer Ministry, the Mission Team, the TLC adult discipleship classes on Wednesday nights, the growth of the 20-something ministry via the innovative Sunday Night Worship service, and re-establishing the church-wide community events - just to name a few! I will also forever remember and be grateful for the countless opportunities to counsel with, pray for, and cry with people going the difficulties and trials that make up life. It was the best part of my job as Executive Pastor. Martha and I love all those whose lives have touched us and who have allowed us to be a part of their lives.
The severance package the church provided us with comes to an end in on May 31. We have no other source of income at this time. Given our ongoing financial recovery from going into ministry 2.5 years ago, we are in a very difficult position financially. So much so that I have even considered leaving the ministry and going back into business in order to feed and clothe my family. The job search has been going exceedingly slow despite our diligent efforts. Many positions have been applied for, inside and outside of Pittsburgh, both in ministry and in business. Some interviews have occurred, but no jobs have materialized. At this point, it is still the strong desire of our heart to stay in Pittsburgh and to stay in ministry. The thought of leaving the ministry makes me grieve – it feels like the death of a close friend.
Although it has not been easy, we continue to have faith that God has a marvelous plan for our family. To date, we are not sure what that plan entails. We still believe that we are called to remain in ministry and in Pittsburgh. Since no ministry positions have become available, we are even praying about the possibility of starting a new church, focused on family ministries and helping those in need. This would be a huge undertaking, so I would love to hear your feedback on this idea.
Consequently, your prayers are still desperately needed and appreciated. In addition, if you have any ideas or ways that you can help us (e.g., job referrals, godly advice), please let us know – soon!
Your Brother & Sister In Christ,
Curtis & Martha Songer
10570 Crest Rd.
Wexford, PA 15090
248-396-6255
If you receive value from these blogs, please consider donating to keep this blog site up and running. This ministry cannot continue without the generous donations of its readers. Just click on the "Donate" button in the upper right. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/ or email me directly at curtis.songer@gmail.com
We have very fond memories of our years of service at New Community and the many ministries we helped to get started there: the AWANA children’s discipleship program, the College Ministry, Compassion Days, the Prayer Ministry, the Mission Team, the TLC adult discipleship classes on Wednesday nights, the growth of the 20-something ministry via the innovative Sunday Night Worship service, and re-establishing the church-wide community events - just to name a few! I will also forever remember and be grateful for the countless opportunities to counsel with, pray for, and cry with people going the difficulties and trials that make up life. It was the best part of my job as Executive Pastor. Martha and I love all those whose lives have touched us and who have allowed us to be a part of their lives.
The severance package the church provided us with comes to an end in on May 31. We have no other source of income at this time. Given our ongoing financial recovery from going into ministry 2.5 years ago, we are in a very difficult position financially. So much so that I have even considered leaving the ministry and going back into business in order to feed and clothe my family. The job search has been going exceedingly slow despite our diligent efforts. Many positions have been applied for, inside and outside of Pittsburgh, both in ministry and in business. Some interviews have occurred, but no jobs have materialized. At this point, it is still the strong desire of our heart to stay in Pittsburgh and to stay in ministry. The thought of leaving the ministry makes me grieve – it feels like the death of a close friend.
Although it has not been easy, we continue to have faith that God has a marvelous plan for our family. To date, we are not sure what that plan entails. We still believe that we are called to remain in ministry and in Pittsburgh. Since no ministry positions have become available, we are even praying about the possibility of starting a new church, focused on family ministries and helping those in need. This would be a huge undertaking, so I would love to hear your feedback on this idea.
Consequently, your prayers are still desperately needed and appreciated. In addition, if you have any ideas or ways that you can help us (e.g., job referrals, godly advice), please let us know – soon!
Your Brother & Sister In Christ,
Curtis & Martha Songer
10570 Crest Rd.
Wexford, PA 15090
248-396-6255
If you receive value from these blogs, please consider donating to keep this blog site up and running. This ministry cannot continue without the generous donations of its readers. Just click on the "Donate" button in the upper right. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/ or email me directly at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Friday, March 26, 2010
Can You Help Me Spread the Word?
Two years have gone by extremely fast! The role I have served at New Community Church has been very rewarding to me, and I hope, to the building of God’s kingdom in Wexford, PA. Unfortunately, after much prayerful consideration, we have come to the conclusion that New Community Church and I are not the best fit long term and believe God is calling me to another position. I dearly love the people of New Community and will be praying for them during this transition. I also remain fully committed to God’s covenant calling on my life and will be seeking another pastoral position with the leadership team of a high-potential-impact church.
Although my most recent position has been as an Executive Pastor, I am open to other positions that may be a good fit with my background (e.g., Associate Pastor of Missions or Discipleship or Family Ministries, possibly even as a Senior Pastor). As a family, we have agreed we will go wherever, and do whatever, God calls us to do.
Here is a list of ways you can help me at this time:
1. Pray
2. Email me if you are interested in reviewing my resume at curtis.songer@gmail.com
3. Notify me of any positions you know of at churches that may be a good fit for me (Are there are any open positions at your church that may be appropriate for me?)
4. In the meantime, you can also help me by considering possible consulting opportunities for your church (or another church) that I could assist with in any of the following 12 areas:
- Mission, Vision, & Values (development &/or assessment – including implementing values-based decision making);
- Strategic Planning & Goal Setting;
- Ministry Planning & Programming (including identifying community needs,
congregational needs, etc.);
- Budget Development &/or Assessment (including budget evaluation for alignment with strategies, giving/revenue assessments, & cost reduction opportunity identification);
- Organizational Development &/or Assessment (including developing structure & staffing plans, job descriptions, & developing hiring/evaluating/terminating
processes);
- Policy, Process, & Systems (evaluation & recommendation, development of manuals);
- Facility Management (location assessment, design requirements, internal &
external utilization, maintenance, etc.);
- Missional / External Focus - Program Design & Implementation;
- Benchmarking & Best Practices;
- Change Management (cultural assessments, leadership alignment, team building, stakeholder assessment & enrollment, communications planning, workplace skills assessment & alignment, results assessment & course correction);
- Conflict Resolution; or
- Other Areas of Specific Problem Solving (define & scope, collect and analyze
data, develop recommendations, plan implementation, & monitor execution)
As you can see, my training and experiences both prior to ministry and for the past 2years as an Executive Pastor, have qualified me to assist in a number of areas. In addition, I am also a member and conference speaker for the international executive pastor network which provides me with access to benchmarks and best practices from churches across North America.
Thank you for your support during this transition in my life. I have great peace, and even excitement, that God is calling me to an even greater phase of significance in serving Him.
Your Brother In Christ,
Curtis Songer
248-396-6255
curtis.songer@gmail.com
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
Although my most recent position has been as an Executive Pastor, I am open to other positions that may be a good fit with my background (e.g., Associate Pastor of Missions or Discipleship or Family Ministries, possibly even as a Senior Pastor). As a family, we have agreed we will go wherever, and do whatever, God calls us to do.
Here is a list of ways you can help me at this time:
1. Pray
2. Email me if you are interested in reviewing my resume at curtis.songer@gmail.com
3. Notify me of any positions you know of at churches that may be a good fit for me (Are there are any open positions at your church that may be appropriate for me?)
4. In the meantime, you can also help me by considering possible consulting opportunities for your church (or another church) that I could assist with in any of the following 12 areas:
- Mission, Vision, & Values (development &/or assessment – including implementing values-based decision making);
- Strategic Planning & Goal Setting;
- Ministry Planning & Programming (including identifying community needs,
congregational needs, etc.);
- Budget Development &/or Assessment (including budget evaluation for alignment with strategies, giving/revenue assessments, & cost reduction opportunity identification);
- Organizational Development &/or Assessment (including developing structure & staffing plans, job descriptions, & developing hiring/evaluating/terminating
processes);
- Policy, Process, & Systems (evaluation & recommendation, development of manuals);
- Facility Management (location assessment, design requirements, internal &
external utilization, maintenance, etc.);
- Missional / External Focus - Program Design & Implementation;
- Benchmarking & Best Practices;
- Change Management (cultural assessments, leadership alignment, team building, stakeholder assessment & enrollment, communications planning, workplace skills assessment & alignment, results assessment & course correction);
- Conflict Resolution; or
- Other Areas of Specific Problem Solving (define & scope, collect and analyze
data, develop recommendations, plan implementation, & monitor execution)
As you can see, my training and experiences both prior to ministry and for the past 2years as an Executive Pastor, have qualified me to assist in a number of areas. In addition, I am also a member and conference speaker for the international executive pastor network which provides me with access to benchmarks and best practices from churches across North America.
Thank you for your support during this transition in my life. I have great peace, and even excitement, that God is calling me to an even greater phase of significance in serving Him.
Your Brother In Christ,
Curtis Songer
248-396-6255
curtis.songer@gmail.com
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
Dancing With God
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
The following is from an unknown author…
When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word Guidance. When I saw "G": I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i". "God, "u" and "i" dance." God, you, and I dance. As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead...
My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies are upon you on this day and everyday. May you abide in God, as God abides in you. Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life.
Please comment below or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Proverbs 3:5-6
The following is from an unknown author…
When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word Guidance. When I saw "G": I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i". "God, "u" and "i" dance." God, you, and I dance. As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead...
My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies are upon you on this day and everyday. May you abide in God, as God abides in you. Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life.
Please comment below or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Monday, March 22, 2010
Is God Real – I Need Proof
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
It's OK to be afraid - it's very human. But it’s not how God wants us to live. He wants us to live worry free because we are trusting in Him for all things.
Some people say they want "proof" that God is there, watching over them - that's OK too. You can have proof. The proof you need, that God is willing to give to you, comes in the form of having a relationship with Him that "feels" more real to you than the person sitting across the table from you. You can see Him at work in your life, and the lives of others, on a daily basis.
How can you have that kind of a real, tangible relationship with God? For me it required Him taking away everything else in life that I had grown to put my trust in. I had nothing left, no other choice, but to trust in Him to get me through. And He did - multiple times over several months. My devotional times became daily messages from God that spoke to my soul for what I needed that day. I could feel Him at work in me. It all started about 2.5 years ago when He led me through a trial I did know how I could get through on my own.
I don't honestly know if a closeness to God can come without pain and suffering. Scriptures say that through our pain and sufferings we are made like Christ. I would like to believe that we can have a super-close, incredibly real, without-a-doubt relationship with Jesus without going through a huge trial. I think it is possible. But it starts with believing in Him and not in yourself, and culminates in a willingness to go anywhere and do anything He asks of you. If you're ready for that, then fasten your seatbelt because life will become a wild and wonderful ride with a sovereign God in the seat next to you every single day!
Please comment below or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com
It's OK to be afraid - it's very human. But it’s not how God wants us to live. He wants us to live worry free because we are trusting in Him for all things.
Some people say they want "proof" that God is there, watching over them - that's OK too. You can have proof. The proof you need, that God is willing to give to you, comes in the form of having a relationship with Him that "feels" more real to you than the person sitting across the table from you. You can see Him at work in your life, and the lives of others, on a daily basis.
How can you have that kind of a real, tangible relationship with God? For me it required Him taking away everything else in life that I had grown to put my trust in. I had nothing left, no other choice, but to trust in Him to get me through. And He did - multiple times over several months. My devotional times became daily messages from God that spoke to my soul for what I needed that day. I could feel Him at work in me. It all started about 2.5 years ago when He led me through a trial I did know how I could get through on my own.
I don't honestly know if a closeness to God can come without pain and suffering. Scriptures say that through our pain and sufferings we are made like Christ. I would like to believe that we can have a super-close, incredibly real, without-a-doubt relationship with Jesus without going through a huge trial. I think it is possible. But it starts with believing in Him and not in yourself, and culminates in a willingness to go anywhere and do anything He asks of you. If you're ready for that, then fasten your seatbelt because life will become a wild and wonderful ride with a sovereign God in the seat next to you every single day!
Please comment below or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Friday, March 19, 2010
Be Strong and Courageous
"Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:6-9
Do you ever worry about the future – what to do, where to go, or how you will get through a tough time? If you are anything like me, the daily grind of this world can take a heavy toll on your faith if you’re not careful. Even though both Philippians 4:6-7 and Matthew 6:25-34 tell us to worry about nothing and that God will take care of all our needs, the negativity of this world tempts us to get down and fret about how we are going to make it - and if anyone even cares if we do make it.
In the Scriptures above we see that Joshua faced the same temptation. He was leading a nation of people who lacked faith – they were often cowards, grumblers, and all too frequently naysayers. Joshua’s job was to lead these people to conquer a land filled with many nation occupying fortified cities. The odds were strongly against him. And failure meant the death of millions.
So God commands Joshua to “be strong and courageous”, obey the law, and to focus on the end goal – to “not turn from it to the right or to the left.” He tells Joshua to not let the law depart from his mouth, but rather to meditate upon it day and night. The command to "meditate" upon it (v. 8) means to make it the basis for daily and lifelong plans.
As with most all commands in the Bible, they come with a promise: Joshua will be prosperous and successful. And God tells him why he will be prosperous and successful: because God will be with him wherever he goes.
What a great source of encouragement for us today: Be strong and courageous, obey God, meditate upon the Scriptures, focus on the end goal – do not veer off from what God has called you to do no matter how impossible it seems. If we do these things, then we too (like Joshua), will be prosperous and successful because God will be with us wherever we go.
Please comment below or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com
Joshua 1:6-9
Do you ever worry about the future – what to do, where to go, or how you will get through a tough time? If you are anything like me, the daily grind of this world can take a heavy toll on your faith if you’re not careful. Even though both Philippians 4:6-7 and Matthew 6:25-34 tell us to worry about nothing and that God will take care of all our needs, the negativity of this world tempts us to get down and fret about how we are going to make it - and if anyone even cares if we do make it.
In the Scriptures above we see that Joshua faced the same temptation. He was leading a nation of people who lacked faith – they were often cowards, grumblers, and all too frequently naysayers. Joshua’s job was to lead these people to conquer a land filled with many nation occupying fortified cities. The odds were strongly against him. And failure meant the death of millions.
So God commands Joshua to “be strong and courageous”, obey the law, and to focus on the end goal – to “not turn from it to the right or to the left.” He tells Joshua to not let the law depart from his mouth, but rather to meditate upon it day and night. The command to "meditate" upon it (v. 8) means to make it the basis for daily and lifelong plans.
As with most all commands in the Bible, they come with a promise: Joshua will be prosperous and successful. And God tells him why he will be prosperous and successful: because God will be with him wherever he goes.
What a great source of encouragement for us today: Be strong and courageous, obey God, meditate upon the Scriptures, focus on the end goal – do not veer off from what God has called you to do no matter how impossible it seems. If we do these things, then we too (like Joshua), will be prosperous and successful because God will be with us wherever we go.
Please comment below or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com
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